Share Jokes Here!

**ganda10101** Sat May 15, 2010 7:21 pm

First topic message reminder :

Heres Mine..

Host : Ano ang ginagamit na floatation device sa dagat upang hindi ka malunod?
Clue : starts with the letter S (salbabida) Beep!
Contestant : Sirena?
Host : Hinde! Hindi ito babae. Beep!
Contestant : Siyokoy?
Host : Hindi! Hindi ito lalake. Beep!
Contestant : Siyoke?
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H : What is the national tree of the Philippines?
Clue : Starts with the letter “N” (narra)
C : Niyog?
H : Mas matigas pa diyan.
C : (In a strong-sounding voice) NIYOG!
H: Hindi namumunga
C: NIYOG NA BAOG (In a strong-sounding voice)
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H : Ano ang total ng 2 + 2? (4)
C : Three!
H : Hinde, mas mataas pa diyan.
C : (In a high pitched voice) Three!
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H : Saan binaril si Jose Rizal?
Clue : “B” ang simula (Bagumbayan)
C : Sa back?
H : O sige, pwede rin na ang simula ay “L” (Luneta)
C : Sa likod?
H : Hindi pa rin. Para mas madali, “R.P” and initials ng modern
name niya (Rizal Park)
C : Sa rear part?
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H : Ano ang tawag sa tao na sumasagip sa iyo pag ikaw ay nalulunod?
Clue : “L” ang simula ng pangalan niya. (lifeguard)
C : Lifebuoy?
H : Hindi, pero kahawing nga ng pangalan ng sabon ang pangalan ng
taong ito.
C : Safeguard?
H : Hindi, pagsamahin mo yung dalawang sagot mo.
C : Safe boy?
H : Hindi siya ‘boy’ at matipuno nga ang kaniyang katawan.
C : Si Mr. Clean!
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Q: What is the national Bird of the Philippines?
Clue: It’s name starts with the letter “M” (Maya).
A: Manok
Q: Hindi, brown ang kulay nito.
A: manok na pinirito.
Q: Hindi, mas maliit pa dyan.
A: Maggi chicken cube.

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Question. Why do couples hold hands during weddings

Answer. It is just a formality.
Like "2 boxer", they shakes hands before the fight begins

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Applicants

2 girl nag-aaply ng work. 1 matalino, 1 b*b*

Matalino: buti kapa natanggap. Ano ba ginawa mo?

B*b*: Wala. Nung nag-fil up me ng form, niagay ko sa Sex, "SURE"

prolibag* Mon May 17, 2010 7:16 pm

hehe..the admins needs help..in jokes 2.haha!

**Xhavierah** Tue May 18, 2010 5:21 am

~~lol..maybe..xD~~

prolibag* Tue May 18, 2010 9:00 am

hehe..!

**kay-lanie** Wed May 19, 2010 8:57 pm

I don't think so LOL!

prolibag* Wed May 19, 2010 9:17 pm

wat a kontra..haha,..!

**Xhavierah** Fri May 21, 2010 12:18 am

hahaha good j0b Kay-lanie xD

**ganda10101** Sun May 23, 2010 2:57 pm

Nagtalo ang mga hudyo at instik kung sino ang nauna sa mundo.
Hudyo: kami, dahil kami ang nagpaku kay Hesus sa krus!
Instik: aber, saan hardware kayo bili pako?

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Promoter: Misis, kapag pinaghalo ang breeze at tide, bubula kaya?
Misis: aba syempre!
Promoter: Mali!
Misis: Bakit naman?
Promoter: Dahil walang tubig.

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Feels great 2 b in bed waiting 4 sleep to cum. As sum1 rubs ur back, up 2 ur neck, ur ears, den u hir a soft whisper…"shhh hanapin mo ang mga pumatay sa akin."

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A pinoy in New York was masturbating while looking at the sky. An American asked. "Hey, what are you doing?"
"Fucking my wife in the Philippines via satellite!" The pinoy replied.

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Nun riding a taxi.
Driver: I’d like to ask a favor if I may, sister. I have always fantasized kissing a nun.
Nun: OK. But first u have to be a catholic. Second, u hav 2 b single.
Driver: I am both catholic and single.
<>
Driver: thank you sister. But I must admit I lied 2 u. I am married and a muslim.
Nun: That’s OK. Im on my way to a costume party and my real name is Allan.

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Ano ang sabi ng panda sa photographer?
Panda: dude, yoko ng black and white ha.

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"Oo inaamin ko. Sila ay mga yakal, lawaan, apitong at narra. At kami ay saging lamang. Pero maghanap kayo ng puno sa buong pilipinas, saging lang ang may puso…saging lang ang may puso! Saging lang!"
-Mark Lapid (from the movie, "APOY SA DIDDIB NG SAMAR" hmm..panalong quotable quote..ibang level!)

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10 QUOTABLE QUOTES:
better late than pregnant.
pag may tyaga, gud luck!
aanhin pa ang damo, kabayo ba ako?
pag binati ka ng bato, kawawa ka naman.
kung may isinuksok, may mabubuntis!
its better to give, much better to receive.
cleanliness is next to godliness. Oiliness is next to blemishes.
ang taong naglalakad na matulin, pawisin.
pagkahaba-haba ng prusisyon, mauubusan din ng kandila.
honesty…is such a lonely word.

**Xhavierah** Sun May 23, 2010 6:20 pm

LOL...u have a lot of j0kez..xD

**ganda10101** Sun May 23, 2010 6:46 pm

Meon pa me isa peo di ako sure kung i popost ko medyo maypagka PG kasi hahaha

prolibag* Sun May 23, 2010 7:56 pm

ahh..lol..ask 1st the admins..if it can be post..hehe,!

**kay-lanie** Sun May 23, 2010 9:45 pm

LOL I hope you guys post some English Jokes? So I can Understand it also

**Xhavierah** Mon May 24, 2010 12:05 am

OK kay-lanie I'll try to research some english jokes!

**ganda10101** Mon May 24, 2010 3:22 pm

ENGLISH JOKE

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said,
"You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"

The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'"

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A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I‘ll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I‘ll stay with you and do *Anything* you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is it? I‘ve told you I‘m a beautiful Princess, that I‘ll stay with you for a week and do *Anything* you want. Why won‘t you kiss me?

The boy said, "Look I‘m a computer programmer. I don‘t have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool."

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Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued:

First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."

Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth Guy: "I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say that the foundation for the new house is being poured next Tuesday."

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CORNY??

prolibag* Mon May 24, 2010 6:09 pm

not that corny//haha..!

**thunder.hawk100** Mon May 31, 2010 4:00 pm

nice jokes, not corny and i did'nt laugh at it much. But its ok

**stellaa** Sun Jun 20, 2010 1:17 pm

*Nagring ang telepono*
*Sinagot niya*
Tumawag: Hello? Sino to?
*ang matinding sagot..*
Siya:!@#$%. Ikaw tumawag tapos ikaw pa magtatanong.

Laughing

**Xhavierah** Tue Jun 22, 2010 2:16 am

hahahaa..nice one!

**thunder.hawk100** Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:05 pm

merong isang bata nag lalaro ng marbles malapit sa simbahan tapos bigla nyang cnabi: p**tang ina moh! sapul!
tapos sabi ng pare ng simbahan dun kayo magmura sa kabilang kan2 wag d2. habang natawid ung bata nasagasaan! sabi ng pare ng simbahan: un p**tang ina moh sapul!

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nung isang araw tinanong ng tr. si pedro kung nasaan ung suez kanal sabi naman ni pedro: tr bakit po kau nag huhukay ng kanal tapos sakin nyo pinapahanap!

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nung isang araw nanaman tinanong ni tr c pedro kung ilang letra ang nasaloob ng englis aplhabet sagot ni pedro:tr no idea. sabi naman ng tr.:anu b yan pedro di mo alam kung leters ang nasaloob ng alphabet! grade 5 ka na!
sabi naman ni pedro: tr howmany letters are there in the post office. edi inde mka sagot ung tr.! kaya sabi ni pedro:tr 45 yrs. old na kayo di nyo pa rin alam kung ilang letters ang nasa post office!